Triangulation

Published by Esteban Devereaux
May 11, 2026 at 5:11 PM MT
Last Updated: May 11, 2026
Estimated Reading Time: 8 minutes

“I keep another person in the wings so you never feel completely secure.”

Triangulation is the use of a third person to create insecurity, competition, jealousy, or confusion.

That third person may be:

• An ex

• A friend

• A family member

• A coworker

• A new romantic interest

• A potential replacement

In our story, that person was Plan B.

Triangulation allowed me to destabilize The Supply while securing my next source of support.

What Is Triangulation?

Triangulation occurs when the narcissist introduces another person into the relationship dynamic in order to:

• Trigger jealousy

• Create competition

• Increase emotional dependency

• Validate the narcissist’s version of events

• Maintain backup options

The message is clear:

“You are replaceable.”

How Triangulation Worked in Our Relationship

While living in The House and actively participating in future plans with The Supply, I was simultaneously cultivating Plan B.

By the time the relationship ended:

• Plan B had already become emotionally significant.

• The Mutual Friend later confirmed that Plan B had been involved for weeks.

• I was describing my plans to anyone who would listen.

• I was laying the groundwork for my exit.

The relationship with The Supply was still operational.

The replacement relationship was already underway.

Inviting Plan B Into The House

The most brazen example of triangulation occurred when I invited Plan B and his companion into The House.

Together, we:

• Drank The Supply’s alcohol

• Celebrated Plan B’s new job in Las Vegas

• Socialized under The Supply’s roof

At the time, The Supply did not fully understand that he was hosting the person who would soon facilitate my departure.

That is triangulation at its most blatant.

Why Narcissists Triangulate

From my perspective as the narcissist, triangulation serves several purposes:

• Keeps The Supply insecure

• Enhances my sense of desirability

• Creates a backup plan

• Provides leverage

• Makes me feel powerful

I never have to face uncertainty alone because another option is already waiting.

The Emotional Effect on The Supply

Triangulation leaves The Supply feeling:

• Confused

• Jealous

• Competitive

• Inadequate

• Hypervigilant

Instead of evaluating whether the relationship is healthy, he becomes focused on the third person.

The New Supply Is Not “Winning”

It can feel devastating to watch the narcissist move seamlessly into another relationship.

But Plan B is not receiving a healthier version of me.

He is entering the same cycle:

1. Idealization

2. Mirroring

3. Future faking

4. Devaluation

5. Discard

The cast changes.

The script remains the same.

What I Am Really Doing

From my perspective as the narcissist:

• I secure a replacement before leaving.

• I make The Supply feel replaceable.

• I avoid being alone.

• I maintain leverage.

If two people are competing for my attention, I feel powerful.

Signs You Are Being Triangulated

• A new “friend” appears unexpectedly.

• You feel subtly compared to others.

• You sense a replacement waiting in the wings.

• Your partner seems to enjoy your insecurity.

• The next relationship begins suspiciously fast.

Why Empaths React So Strongly

Empaths often respond by:

• Trying harder

• Giving more

• Competing for the relationship

• Internalizing blame

This increased investment benefits the narcissist.

How to Respond

1. Refuse to compete.

2. Focus on behavior, not rivals.

3. Strengthen your boundaries.

4. Accept that secure relationships do not require competition.

5. Walk away when respect is absent.

Final Thoughts

Triangulation is designed to destabilize you and preserve the narcissist’s options.

The presence of a third person is not the central issue.

The real issue is that the narcissist uses other people as tools.

If someone repeatedly makes you feel replaceable, believe what the relationship is showing you.

Recommended Articles

• Projection

• Smear Campaigns

• Why the New Supply Is Not “Winning”

• The Narcissistic Relationship Timeline

• Healing & Recovery After Narcissistic Abuse

You are in a psychological war, and you don’t know it.

Let the games begin.